The Dispatches
DEVELOPINGApril 2, 20265 min read

We Are Aware of BlessedPB.com. We Have Read Their Manifesto. We Have Thoughts.

A rival publication has declared us heretics. We have noted this. We remain unrepentant.

The EditorsFckPickleball Editorial Staff

We have been made aware of a publication called BlessedPB.com.

We have reviewed it thoroughly. We have read their Sacred Doctrines. We have consulted their Joy-O-Meter. We have submitted a query to their Confessional — which, we note, already contains a submission from someone who describes themselves as the operator of this very website, and who has apparently arrived at a complicated emotional relationship with pickleball. We will not be commenting on that at this time.

What we will say is this: BlessedPB.com is, by their own description, "a sacred response to the heresy at fckpickleball.com." They have built a counter-publication. They have mirrored our structure. They have inverted our positions. Where we have a Rage-O-Meter, they have a Joy-O-Meter. Where we have a Bureau of Grievances, they have a Confessional. Where we have a Sport Legitimacy Index, they have a Sport Holiness Index™. The trademark symbol is theirs. We acknowledge it.

This is, objectively, well-executed. We are documenting this publicly and without irony.

The Charges Against Us

BlessedPB has accused us of heresy. The specific charge, as best we can determine from their Sacred Doctrines, is that we have failed to recognize pickleball as a legitimate and joyful sport deserving of reverence, community, and possibly a visor.

We have reviewed the charges. We have considered them carefully. We have weighed the evidence on both sides.

Our position remains unchanged.

A Fair Assessment

We want to be clear: we do not dislike the people at BlessedPB. We find their operation admirable in its commitment, thorough in its execution, and genuinely funny in several places. The ticker item that reads "REPORT: Man who runs fckpickleball.com spotted playing pickleball last Tuesday" is, we will admit, a strong piece of work. We have no comment on its accuracy.

What we object to is not their enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is fine. What we object to is the sport itself — its name, its sounds, its court dimensions, its relationship to tennis, and its inexplicable grip on retirement communities and corporate wellness programs across the continental United States.

BlessedPB has not addressed these concerns. They have offered forgiveness instead. We have filed a formal grievance in response. Case number FCK-2026-04-02-001. Charge: unsolicited forgiveness. Resolution timeline: when pickleball admits it is not tennis.

The Broader Pattern

What BlessedPB represents — and we say this with genuine respect — is the natural endpoint of pickleball culture. The sport does not simply attract players. It attracts evangelists. People who have found pickleball do not merely play it; they announce it, defend it, and eventually construct counter-publications in its honor when someone on the internet says something unkind about it.

This is, we would note, exactly what happened with racketball in 1983. The parallels are instructive. We have documented them elsewhere. We will not repeat ourselves here.

Our Position, Restated

We are aware of BlessedPB.com. We have read their manifesto. We have noted their charges. We have filed our grievance. We remain, as ever, outside the kitchen.

We wish them well. We wish pickleball would admit it is not tennis. These two wishes are not in conflict.

The Bureau of Grievances is open. The ticker is running. The Rage-O-Meter has been updated accordingly.

We will not be taking questions.

— The Editors, FckPickleball Editorial Staff

Filed under: DEVELOPING

FckPickleball Editorial Staff

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