Study Finds 94% of Pickleball Players Believe They Are 'Pretty Good, Actually'

A comprehensive new study published this week by the FckPickleball Institute for Made-Up Statistics has found that 94% of recreational pickleball players describe their skill level as 'pretty good, actually,' despite objective evidence suggesting a more nuanced picture.

The study, which surveyed 1,200 self-identified pickleball players across 14 states, also found that 87% believe they are 'better than most people at their club,' a statistical impossibility that researchers described as 'impressive in its consistency.'

""Everybody thinks they're in the top half. That's not how halves work." — Lead researcher Dr. Anita Morales"

The Visor Correlation

Perhaps the study's most striking finding is the correlation between visor ownership and self-assessed skill level. Players who owned three or more visors rated themselves an average of 23 points higher on a 100-point skill scale than players who owned fewer than two visors, even when controlling for actual match performance.

Researchers noted that visor ownership was also strongly correlated with the frequency with which a player discusses pickleball at social events, the number of pickleball-related items in their vehicle, and the likelihood of describing a routine dink shot as 'textbook.'

The 'Pretty Good' Phenomenon

The phrase 'pretty good, actually' — notable for its defensive qualifier — appeared in 94% of responses when players were asked to describe their skill level. Researchers believe the word 'actually' functions as a pre-emptive rebuttal to skepticism the player anticipates but has not yet encountered.

'It's a fascinating linguistic tic,' said Dr. Morales. 'They're arguing with a critic who isn't in the room. The critic is correct, but they're not in the room.'

""I'm pretty good, actually. I've been playing for almost a year." — Survey respondent, 58, who lost 11-2 the previous Tuesday"

The remaining 6% of respondents described themselves as 'excellent,' 'competitive,' or 'basically semi-pro.' Researchers declined to comment on these responses.